[142] Sometimes the waiting is so hard, I really want to be with Chris and then I sit here in front of this computer, just to be as close to him as possible.
Lately we also have been calling, since I have found a cheap server where it only costs 1 cent a minute, so we can talk for real.
In total we will have to spend some 5 months apart from eachother still and then we can be together for really real.
It's really good to fantasise about that, about simple things, how we can have dinner together, or we watch a movie, or sit outside while he prepares a bbq.........I really long for that *sigh*
Also I can endlessly look for houses, to get inspired and I think about how we will decorate it and how we sit outside on the porch together.
I guess I am being all cheesy lately, with Atkins probably also comes too many cheesy hormones, hehehehehe.

[141]

[140] I am still going strong on both the not smoking and the dieting, so I am quite proud of myself that I hang in there.
Although the weightloss isn't going fast, it's an ongoing thing, untill now I lost 14 lb's, so not bad at all.
I am counting the days till I see Chris again.
The waiting is really hard sometimes, even more cause we thought we would be together by now.
On the other hand, it's all better the way it's gonna be now, we got way more opportunities in the US than here in the NL, so in that way I ain't sad about how things happened.
I also think it came at exactly the right time, a year ago I wasn't ready yet to leave my job (the coolest in the world, hehehe) but now, after the Toy Dolls were here, it all changed, well I always predicted that, so it was only to be expected.